When You Don’t Have a Valentine

This is a weekend when it’s tough to be single. If you’re single “again” it can be even worse. Although I’m happily married now, I can remember observing “Black Wednesday” (or Thursday, or whatever day February 14 hit that year) with my single friends. We’d wear black, do something fun, and remind each other that being without a romantic relationship didn’t mean being unloved. We had each other and that meant something! We took care of each other so none of us had to feel alone or left out.

Regardless of your relationship status, you can make your Valentine’s Day and somebody else’s a little happier if you Love Your Neighbor.

What should you do if you don't have a Valentine? | A Chat Over Coffee

What should you do if you don’t have a Valentine? | A Chat Over Coffee

Who Is My Neighbor?

You may have read in Luke 10:25-37 how Jesus commanded us to love our neighbors and then illustrated what that meant. There are so many hurting people around us although many have become very skilled at hiding the pain. If you are looking for a way to share some love with your neighbor this Valentine’s Day, may I offer a few ideas?

Suggestions for Loving Your Neighbor

  • Make a photo album or memory box for a family member or help that family member assemble an album. Spend time looking at the pictures and ask questions. You may learn something fun or interesting about your family!
  • Babysit your sibling’s kids so Mom & Dad can enjoy a meal someplace that doesn’t have a cartoon character mascot. Keep the kids busy making and playing games with a set of giant dice like these.
  • Make special flowers (instructions here) or other gifts (maybe candy bouquets like these or these) for widowed people in your church or community. More importantly, visit and let them share memories.
  • Buy or make a meal (look here for recipes) for a single parent or give a gift card to take the kids to dinner.
  • Provide a helpful gift for a needy child: a red hat & mittens, a cute shirt, themed school supplies, or Valentine socks would be both fun and practical.
  • Serve others: Help prepare and serve a meal at a soup kitchen, donate clothes or supplies to a homeless shelter or pregnancy resource center, or make a special donation to missionaries who are sharing the love of Christ around the world.
  • Have Share the Love Day: Do any of the above with a friend or group of friends who don’t have a “special someone” with whom to celebrate Valentine’s Day. Skip the black and wear pink or red instead, go out to eat or pitch in snacks, and celebrate your friendship.

I’ve often found that the best way to lift my spirits is to do something for somebody else and that giving love is the best way to get some in return. You have something good to give…your time, your prayers, your listening ear, and your friendship are valuable. However and with whomever you observe Valentine’s Day, I hope it is filled with blessings and love!

I moderate comments manually but will get them posted as quickly as possible. Please keep your comments kind and if you must disagree please do so without being disagreeable. Rude or inappropriate comments will obviously not be published.

Update: This post was shared at the Valentine’s Link Party.



6 responses to “When You Don’t Have a Valentine

  1. We have our love banquet at church tonight. It is a family dinner put on by the youth to fund their mission activities this summer. It starts at four and ends by seven with dinner at five. No one is left out…the church vans will go out and transport any one who needs a ride. We should have close to 200 attendees, going by past statistics but it is -6°F right now. That may keep some of the more fragile folks home, but they will get a delivered dinner then.

    The main dish is usually supposed to be a surprise but I know it is spaghetti and sauce with or without meat. My oldest and youngest girl are both youth group leaders and they are over there now getting things going in multiple nesco roasters.

    A sub shop is generously donating a large amount of shredded lettuce that will be the base of the salad. The church members sign up with the youth coordinator for what they would like to bring as re’ sides and desserts. My assignment is pies….I picked up five metal pie pans from church kitchen already and we did the blind baked crusts last night. My crust recipe makes five so I figured for maximum number I’d do one crust pies. My son gave me a dozen eggs from his chickens so I can make the filling. I am making lemon meringue. They will be nicely chilled in the garage by time to leave.

    I have never heard of black (insert day of week) before except as re’ the Great Depression. Valentine’s Day is not Biblical but love your neighbor most certainly is. I have enjoyed reading your many ideas, activities and suggestions for including others in Christian love.


    • Thanks, Athanasia. You & I have chatted a bit before about religious vs cultural holidays and Valentine’s Day is cultural to me. It’s certainly a day when it’s easy for people to feel left out. Your church dinner sounds like a great idea for several reasons and lots of fun as well. Have a great evening!


  2. I often see a meme that suggests “Your Valentine is waiting for you at the local shelter” – suggesting adopting a pet that needs a loving home. It’s not feasible for everyone, but it’s certainly an idea. 🙂


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